I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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