despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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