His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
