like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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