it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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