yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
