Already got asked if we're dating
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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