people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
