i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
