HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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