is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize