Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
