I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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