I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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