just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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