In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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