oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
