You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
True strength comes from lack of pants
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
