There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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