kristin has been a bad kristin
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho