Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
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i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks