I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
