This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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