...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
