can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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