Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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