apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We left an ass print on the piano.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
