oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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