You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
