so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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