Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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