I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
