I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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