i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
