I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
