I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
