you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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