so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
