I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
