i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
