Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
