I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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