He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
