i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize