I want to stick my p in your. b.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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