Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize