How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened