how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.