oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
ok first of all what the fuck
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
