More tranny stories later!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first