when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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