He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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