piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You're so nebulous sometimes
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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