Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
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