For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
