i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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