U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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