"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
