I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
